But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you’re in distress. Post-therapy responses (feeling either energized or exhausted) are completely normal, but that doesn’t explain why it happens. Here, two mental health professionals help demystify the emotional (and sometimes even physical) exhaustion that can hit after a session of therapy.
However, these sessions are the exception, not the norm. More often than not, a deep fatigue—an emotional hangover—will set in after an appointment. Sometimes it’s immediate, while other times it’ll hits a few hours later, as if you’d taken shots of NyQuil in the middle of the day.
Many people experience a range of feelings after a therapy session. Sometimes you can leave feeling light as a feather—as if a major weight has been lifted from your chest—after having a certain realization, or, with help from a therapist, learning to reframe a previously distressing situation. Having a better grasp on some aspect of your mental health can even go as far as being reenergizing.
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Stress can make us tired
Chances are, the topics you discuss in therapy are ones that cause you stress in your everyday life. If you’ve ever gone to a physician because you weren’t feeling well, but the reason why isn’t entirely clear, they probably asked you about your stress levels, and explained that stress symptoms can include everything from exhaustion and insomnia, to headaches and dizziness. And although being stressed doesn’t necessarily mean a person is depressed, one of the common symptoms of depression includes changes in how much you sleep—so if you’re going to therapy to deal with depression (at least in part), it can contribute to the feeling of fatigue.
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What’s behind your post-therapy exhaustion?
Although everyone who decides to work with a therapist does so for their own reasons, it would be difficult to find someone (in or out of therapy) who doesn’t experience some type of stress. We already know that for many people, the stress response is physically exhausting, so it makes sense that we can get tired after discussing something stressful in a session, according to Adam L. Fried, PhD, a clinical psychologist and director of the clinical psychology program at Midwestern University in Glendale, Ariz.
“Talking about something that has a high emotional impact can be extremely stressful and leave us feeling physically spent,” he says. “Some people who have been in highly stressful situations—like taking a really important test or exam, being evaluated, or having a tense meeting with your boss for an annual review—have experienced a similar physical exhaustion after the stressful situation ended.”
Often in those situations, Fried says, people are surprised at how suddenly exhaustion can set in once the stress-inducing event is over—something that can also happen after therapy.
“Talk therapy is often a release, and many are releasing things they have stored up for years,” he explains. “That process of releasing and sharing with another person can be emotionally exhausting, which can also assume the form of physical fatigue. I think for some, they don’t realize the energy expended on keeping themselves going with this level of stress; it’s only after they ‘unload’ some of what they’ve been carrying that they realize how exhausting it’s truly been for them.”
RELATED: 7 Different Types of Therapy—and How to Choose the Right One for You
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It doesn’t happen every time or to everyone
While some people may leave a therapy appointment so fatigued they’re unable to work for the rest of the day, that’s not the case for everyone. It isn’t necessarily about being a particular type of person that makes you more or less susceptible to post-therapy sleepiness—it can also depend on what you discuss in a particular session.
“Not all topics may have the same emotional impact,” Fried explains. “There may be different times during the therapy process where people feel more or less exhausted, depending on what they’re talking about. For example, it may be several sessions into a therapeutic relationship before you start discussing a particular traumatic event; these sessions may feel more exhausting than others.” In addition to that, Fried says that someone’s energy levels after therapy may also fluctuate depending on what else is happening in their life. For instance, someone working longer hours on an important project may end up experiencing more fatigue after their therapy session than usual.
Another reason some may need a post-therapy nap, according to Lise LeBlanc, a registered psychotherapist specializing in trauma and author of the PTSD Guide, is because it’s part of a therapist’s job to help stir up and shift painful mental and emotional patterns.
“I would compare it to turning a snow globe upside down and shaking it,” she says. “This upheaval can be draining for anyone, but for introverts or those who experience social anxiety, an hour of intense interaction with a therapist—talking about stressors, traumatic experiences, and difficult emotions—can be especially exhausting.”
On the other hand, LeBlanc explains, extroverts who are energized by social interaction and/or enjoy processing their thoughts and emotions, may not experience this same level of exhaustion after an appointment, or at least not as often.
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The difference between emotional exhaustion and an emotional hangover
Sometimes people will refer to the onset of fatigue after a therapy session as “emotional exhaustion,” but that may not be the most accurate description of what they’re experiencing.
According to Fried, emotional exhaustion happens when stress levels are so high that someone feels constantly drained, overwhelmed, fatigued, and irritable.
“When you regularly experience stress levels that stretch your mental and emotional resources, in time, you become emotionally exhausted and depleted,” LeBlanc explains. “You can no longer properly recharge and so you wake up in the morning feeling just as exhausted as you did when you collapsed into bed the night before.”
An “emotional hangover,” on the other hand, is the feeling of being emotionally depleted after an emotional interaction, like a stressful conversation with your boss, an argument with your partner, or a therapy session, says LeBlanc.
“The symptoms of emotional exhaustion and an emotional hangover can be quite similar and include things like feeling emotionally unstable, drained, irritable, mentally foggy, and having physical pain,” she explains. “However, where emotional exhaustion results from prolonged accumulations of stress, an emotional hangover is the result of expending too much emotional energy in a short period of time.”
It can also get confusing, Fried says, because some people go to therapy in order to deal with emotional exhaustion. “The exhaustion that some people talk about after having an intense therapy session is usually somewhat different because they often don’t feel as irritable and overwhelmed, as is often the case with emotional exhaustion,” he adds.
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How to recover after a therapy session
If you find yourself exhausted after a therapy session, both Fried and LeBlanc recommend taking the time to care for yourself. Specifically, Fried suggests activities that can help you feel more focused, less stressed, and more energized—like a guided meditation, walking, or even just sitting quietly outside with no distractions.
“I usually ask clients to schedule an extra 15 to 20 minutes after their session to have a short nap or meditation,” LeBlanc says. “After stirring up difficult thoughts and emotions, we need to give ourselves time to process and settle, otherwise, there is no way for the mind to consolidate insights, shift mental patterns, and release emotions.” It may help, if you have the option, to schedule therapy sessions purposely at a time when you know you’ll have at least a short window between that and your next responsibility.
Unfortunately, not everyone has the option of taking as much time as they need to recover after therapy. If that’s the case, LeBlanc says to “do so with self-compassion.” Take five minutes to sit quietly, breathe, or take a brief walk around the block.
Remember, these feelings “[are not] necessarily an unusual phenomenon,” Fried says. “[They’re] often a sign that what you’re working on or what you shared was something of significant emotional impact.”
At the end of the last therapy session I had, my counsellor asked how I felt. It was a Thursday afternoon and I was about to head back to work, but all I wanted to do was to curl up in bed and go to sleep. “I’m OK,” I said. “But honestly, I’m shattered.”
Counselling has been enormously helpful for me. It has helped me explore my anxiety, emotions and feelings, and although I’ve only just scratched the surface, I already know it will have a profoundly positive impact on my life.
After every session, though, I feel exactly the same. I feel like I’ve run an emotional marathon, drained of energy and like I could sleep for the rest of the day. So why is therapy so exhausting?
Recalling memories can be draining
“Exploring past trauma and personal issues can be very draining, and it is normal for clients to sometimes feel emotionally and mentally drained during therapy,” says Meera Mehat, a psychotherapist who runs the clinic Harley Street Consulting.
This can be taxing for several reasons, she explains. “Clients have to recall memories to tell a therapist. These memories are often emotionally charged and can cause distress to the client. It’s hard enough to remember them, and articulating them after that can be even more challenging,” Mehat says.
“It can be a source of frustration or stress when clients feel unable to express themselves, and therapists will ask questions to better clarify or aid the articulation of these hard experiences,” she adds.
“This questioning can feel difficult for clients who are already struggling to manage their emotions. The mental effort to keep composed and find the right words to express themselves is naturally exhausting and can leave patients feeling tired.”
Internalising experiences can take its toll
Another explanation is to look at the physical toll of internalising our thoughts and emotions, says psychotherapist Maryam Meddin, the founder and CEO of the London mental health clinic The Soke.
“Stress, sadness, anger, anxiety, trauma – keeping these feelings hidden, perhaps even as a habit rather than through deliberate intention, has an immense impact on our physical health and our bodies,” she explains.
“Therapy is a process by which we allow things to be expelled and, hopefully, expunged. With either route there is undoubtedly an after-effect – a ‘hangover’ if you will – since honesty and openness in the therapy room demand so much energy.”
The fight or flight response
There’s also a biological reason why we may find therapy so intense and tiring. Difficult memories can carry emotional burdens that can cause distress, which triggers the release of stress hormones like norepinephrine and cortisol. This reaction is known as the ‘fight or flight’ response and it can be exhausting to spend time in this state of high alert.
Depending on the type of therapy, clients may be encouraged to reach their own solutions or conclusions under the guidance of their therapist, rather than advice prescribed by the therapist externally.
“Reaching this solution can be a hard journey for the client as they have to problem-solve and explore what will work best for them,” adds Mehat. “To problem-solve and self-scrutinise even with an experienced professional therapist can be an exhaustive process.”
Although therapy can feel temporarily draining, Counselling Directory member Marteka Swaby highlights that feeling exhausted can be a sign that the therapy is having a positive effect.
“Talking about struggles from your past or things that are painful are never easy, but once you get to the root and start to deal with some of the issues, the pain eventually subsides, and you have a healthier outlook to help you tackle future issues,” she says.
If you struggle with post-therapy fatigue, there are steps you can take to ease the tiredness.
How to cope with post-therapy fatigue
Schedule your therapy on quieter days
“Try scheduling therapy on days or during times where you’ll have some free time to decompress afterwards,” says Swaby.
“Consider coping strategies or distraction activities before the sessions so you have planned something you can do after that will lift your mood. For example, go for coffee with a friend, exercise, or watch a movie.”
Listen to yourself
Taking time for yourself is often unhelpfully seen as selfish or self-indulgent. But being kind to yourself is hugely important after a challenging therapy session. If you need to – and you can – have a nap or a rest.
“Treat yourself to something – your favourite cake, get your hair or nails done, buy that new game. Whatever makes you feel special. Be a little self-indulgent,” Swaby says.
Mehat recommends listening to some feelgood music. “Find something you enjoy listening to that brings feelings of pleasure, invokes good memories or creates a sense of calm,” she says. “If you want you can crank it up and focus on the feelings of pleasure and fun or calm and relaxation, depending on the type of music chosen.”
Journal your feelings
Not everyone has the opportunity to relax or have a nap after a therapy or counselling session, but taking ten minutes to scribble any lingering thoughts or feelings in a journal can be helpful.
“Write down your thoughts immediately after therapy,” Mehat says. “This can help you make connections and see things differently. Putting your feelings on paper can help to disassociate with them and this can make you feel better.”
Exercise
Physical activity releases feelgood chemicals called endorphins, which can help to boost your mood and ease mental fatigue. Going for a jog, doing some gentle stretching or going for a quick walk can help to clear your head.
“After the session, take a brisk walk in the fresh air – even five minutes can be enough to invigorate you,” says Mehat. “Take the time to notice your surroundings, the noise, the sights, the smells.
“Focus on your pace, keep your head high and focus on the horizon – keep it brisk so the mind is alerted to the function of walking. By keeping your head high or looking at the horizon you will feel better and it will allow your airways to open up and breathe better.”
Don’t give up
And remember, going through therapy or counselling is not an easy process. It’s often difficult to talk about the way we feel or think, as well as past experiences or trauma, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing.
“Don’t give up on therapy – if you’re finding it tiring, it means you’re doing it right,” Meddin says. “You’re working hard to improve whatever it is you went there for in the first place, so well done and keep at it.”
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