When we experience any kind of trauma, we can respond to the threat in various ways to cope. We are all familiar with the fight or flight response, but there are actually four main trauma responses, which are categorized as “the four F’s of trauma”: fight, flight, freeze and fawn.
In this podcast (episode #403) and blog, I will talk about these different trauma responses, and how to manage them in the moment using self-regulation and mind-management techniques. Although recent research indicates there may be two more trauma responses common to human beings, I am just going to concentrate on the main four for this podcast.
These main trauma responses are actual neural structures that get built into our brain as “thought trees.” The experience triggers the response with all its memories, including the knowledge, data and emotions that are attached to the memories like branches and leaves on a tree. The more intense the experience, the more energy and strength the thought tree has.
When this happens, the brain sends a message to all the cells of the body about this thought tree, so the memory is stored in the body as well. The more this trauma pattern is activated/triggered, the stronger it gets. This means that when anything similar happens to us, the predictive pattern will “switch on” in our mind, brain and body, and we can automatically revert to it, which strengthens it further.
Knowing about these trauma responses can help you see how you are responding to trauma triggers, which will, in turn, help you recognize the warning signals of how they are showing up in your life and what they mean for you. This will enable you to reconceptualize (reimagine/rewire) them into a pattern that works for you and not against you. Over time, you can work on healing your trauma; you do not have to let it take up any more room in your life. You do not have to default to unhealthy trauma responses that keep you stuck.
As mentioned above, the four types of trauma responses are: fight, flight, freeze or fawn. You may have one or more of them at different times and under different circumstances:
- The flight response can be defined as getting away from the situation as quickly as possible.
- The fight response can be defined as pure self-preservation.
- The freeze response can be defined as pausing instead of running.
- The fawn response can be defined as keeping someone happy to neutralize the threat.
These trauma responses can show up in either a healthy or unhealthy way. For instance, an unhealthy fight response may result in increased aggressive behavior, while a healthy fight response may be the desire to set and maintain healthy relationship boundaries. An unhealthy flight response, on the other hand, may be to become a workaholic to avoid confrontation, while a healthy flight response may be to exit an unhealthy relationship.
- Unhealthy flight responses can include obsessive or compulsive tendencies, needing to stay busy all the time, panic, constant feelings of fear, perfectionism, workaholic tendencies, and the inability to sit still.
Healthy flight
responses
can include being able to disengage from harmful conversations, leave unhealthy relationships, remove yourself from physical danger, and properly assess danger. - Unhealthy fight responses can include controlling behaviors, narcissistic tendencies, bullying, conduct disorder, demanding perfection from others, and feelings of entitlement.
Healthy fight
responses
can include establishing firm boundaries, being assertive, finding courage, becoming a strong leader, and protecting yourself and loved ones. - Unhealthy freeze responses can include dissociation, isolation, frequent zoning out, brain fog, difficulty making decisions, difficulty taking actions or getting things done, fear of achieving, or fear of trying new things.
Healthy freeze
responses
can include mindfulness, awareness, and full presence in the moment. - Unhealthy fawn responses can include codependent relationships, staying in violent relationships, loss of self, destructive people-pleasing, or few or no boundaries.
Healthy fawn
responses
can include compassion for others, compromise, active listening, and a sense of fairness.
The first step in managing any response awareness—we must feel to heal. Often, these four types of trauma responses, if they manifest as unhealthy responses, can keep us stuck. But, by becoming aware of them, we can understand them and learn how to make them work for us and not against us. We can start doing this by switching them from unhealthy to healthy trauma responses through the process called reconceptualization, which I describe in detail below.
When you learn how to mind-manage a trauma response when triggered, you can choose what will work best for you to help you get through the situation. This will give you a sense of agency and control, which will further empower you to take control of your life. To this end, I recommend doing a Neurocycle, which is the 5-step mind-management system I have developed over the past 38 years, and is based on my research and practice. (I discuss this in detail in my book Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess, my app Neurocycle and in my recent clinical trials.) The 5 steps are:
1. Gather awareness of your trauma response.
- What are your emotional warning signals?
- What are your physical warning signals?
- What are your behavioral warning signals?
- Which of the four f’s of trauma, or what combination, are you in?
2. Reflect
- What is the pattern you have developed to cope with your trauma? What are you doing and how are you responding specifically?
- Does your response serve you well in your relationships?
- Do you need to change it?
- Where is the trauma that this response is coming from? (It’s ok if you can’t answer that now, it’s good enough to know it’s a response to an underlying cause. You can work on this separately over 63 day cycles to find the roots of the trauma and embrace, process and reconceptualize them).
3. Write
Write what you have gathered and reflected on to help organize your thinking.
4. Recheck
Look at what you have written, and see if you can reconceptualize the trauma response, – that is, shift it to a healthy response – by finding what I call the “antidote”. For example, you can say something like “This place still makes me sad, but it doesn’t hurt anymore; I don’t see myself as the one who is always being left; rather, I am the one who was willing to stay.”
5. Active reach
What is an anchoring action or statement you can quickly do and say to yourself when a trauma response is triggered? For example, you can say something like “I am going to put on my imaginary suit of armor, practice deep breathing to control my panic, and then I am going to stop pacing, sit down and assess the situation to see what has made me panic. I will ask someone I trust to help me, like a therapist or counselor.”
For more on managing the different trauma responses, listen to my podcast (episode #402). If you enjoy listening to my podcast, please consider leaving a 5-star review and subscribing. And keep sharing episodes with friends and family and on social media. (Don’t forget to tag me so I can see your posts!).
You can now also join me on Patreon for exclusive, ad-free content! Sign up for a membership level that suits you, and receive access to ad-free exclusive bonus podcasts. These episodes will include more targeted, step-by-step guides for specific mental health issues AND some fun, more personal podcasts about topics like my favorite skincare products and favorite books, as well as live Q&As, fan polls and requests, and exclusive digital downloads!
Join my Neurocycle Certified Facilitator program! This is an intensive training certification program designed and led by me, where eligible individuals have the opportunity to learn how to correctly facilitate the instruction of my methods, including the Neurocycle, within their practice or business with clients. The training is done in-person, and on successful completion of the training, the certified facilitator will have access to the CF portal where they can sign up and manage clients.
How will I get a return on my investment?
-
You will become one of the most in-demand coaches in your community by taking your business to the next level.
-
You will make client connections: we’ll help you create a profile in our exclusive directory, which is sent to hundreds of thousands of people worldwide.
-
You will learn the business & marketing strategies I have developed over many years to turn my passion for helping others find healing into a successful & sustainable business model
-
You will hear helpful insider tips from me on using this certification to improve & expand your business and reach.
-
You will access new & exciting opportunities to diversify & increase your revenue streams.
-
You will receive hands-on training with Dr. Leaf in the Neurocycle Method & an exclusive license to facilitate the Neurocycle™ method with your clients.
-
You will have the opportunity to make new friends, find a business partner or start a new career!
-
You will have access to extensive resources, including the Neurocycle App, Neurocycle Method materials & our exclusive Facebook group.
If you are looking to deliver better results for your clients and build a coaching or mental health business that you love, the Neurocycle Facilitator certification could be a great fit! Use the coupon code INAUG25 to get 25% of the cost of the Neurocycle Intensive training here. ONLY 2 SPOTS LEFT!
This podcast was sponsored by:
BiOptimizer’s Magnesium Breakthrough. If we want to be healthier mentally and physically, one of the best things we can possibly do is get several hours of quality sleep every night. The brain and body heal themselves when we sleep—it really is one of the most amazing processes, even if we are not conscious when it happens! Thankfully, there are ways we can improve our sleep quality and overall health, including taking MAGNESIUM. But most magnesium supplements use only the two cheapest synthetic forms—since they’re not full-spectrum, they won’t support better sleeping habits. There are actually 7 unique forms of magnesium, and you must get ALL of them if you want to experience its calming, sleep-enhancing effects. That’s why I recommend Magnesium Breakthrough by BiOptimizers. Simply take two capsules before you go to bed and you’ll be amazed by how much better you sleep, and how much more rested you feel when you wake up! For an exclusive offer for my listeners go to http://www.magbreakthrough.com/leaf and use DRLEAF10 during checkout to save 10% on your order.
Ned, a company that remains committed to making all of their products more simple and effective, and they’ve done just that with their new De-Stress Blend. Indeed, all Ned’s CBD products have over 2,000 5-star reviews, and they work with incredible partners within the medical field like Dr. Christian Gonzalez and Dr. Will Cole. Ned also shares third-party lab reports, who farms their products, and their extraction process, all right there on their site! If you’d like to give Ned a try, Cleaning Up The Mental Mess listeners get 15% off Ned products with code: DRLEAF. Just visit helloned.com/DRLEAF to get access!
Apollo Neuroscience. Apollo is a new wearable device that improves the way your body manages stress. It can help you sleep better, stay calm, focus more, be more present, and feel less overwhelmed, which I know many of us need these days, including myself! I love that Apollo is a safe, natural way for me to feel my best without drugs or any unwanted side effects. It has been studied in multiple clinical trials and real-world studies, and has been shown to support up to 40% less stress and feelings of anxiety, up to 19% more time in deep sleep, and up to a 25% increase in focus and concentration. Want to improve your sleep, relaxation, focus, recovery, and mindfulness habits? Try Apollo today! Get $35 off the Apollo wearable at apolloneuro.com/drleaf.
Podcast Highlights
2:30 The different types of trauma responses
4:43 How our experiences affect the mind & brain
10:20 How trauma impacts the mind & brain
11:30 Why mind management is so important
13:20 How our trauma responses help us understand what is going on in our life
16:45, 25:15 Some trauma responses can be good for us!
27:00, 31:28 Using self-regulation to manage trauma responses
This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional.
