Whatever it is that scares you, here are 10 ways to help you cope with your day-to-day fears and anxieties.
These tips are for people who are coping with everyday fears. If you have been diagnosed with an anxiety-related condition, see our page on generalised anxiety disorder.
1. Take time out
It’s impossible to think clearly when you’re flooded with fear or anxiety. The first thing to do is take time out so you can physically calm down.
Distract yourself from the worry for 15 minutes by walking around the block, making a cup of tea or having a bath.
2. Breathe through panic
If you start to get a faster heartbeat or sweating palms, the best thing is not to fight it.
Stay where you are and simply feel the panic without trying to distract yourself. Place the palm of your hand on your stomach and breathe slowly and deeply.
The goal is to help the mind get used to coping with panic, which takes the fear of fear away.
Try this breathing technique for stress
3. Face your fears
Avoiding fears only makes them scarier. Whatever your fear, if you face it, it should start to fade. If you panic one day getting into a lift, for example, it’s best to get back into a lift the next day.
4. Imagine the worst
Try imagining the worst thing that can happen – perhaps it’s panicking and having a heart attack. Then try to think yourself into having a heart attack. It’s just not possible. The fear will run away the more you chase it.
5. Look at the evidence
It sometimes helps to challenge fearful thoughts. For example, if you’re scared of getting trapped in a lift and suffocating, ask yourself if you have ever heard of this happening to someone. Ask yourself what you would say to a friend who had a similar fear.
6. Don’t try to be perfect
Life is full of stresses, yet many of us feel that our lives must be perfect. Bad days and setbacks will always happen, and it’s important to remember that life is messy.
7. Visualise a happy place
Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine a place of safety and calm. It could be a picture of you walking on a beautiful beach, or snuggled up in bed with the cat next to you, or a happy memory from childhood. Let the positive feelings soothe you until you feel more relaxed.
8. Talk about it
Sharing fears takes away a lot of their scariness. If you can’t talk to a partner, friend or family member, call a helpline such as Breathing Space on 0800 83 85 87 or Samaritans on 116 123.
You could also try a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach over the telephone, with a service such as NHS Living Life. If you would like to find out more about this appointment-based service, you can visit the Living Life website or phone 0800 328 9655 (Mon to Fri, 1pm to 9pm).
If your fears aren’t going away, you can ask your GP for help. GPs can refer people for counselling, psychotherapy or help through an online mental health service, such as Living Life to the Full.
9. Go back to basics
Lots of people turn to alcohol or drugs to self-treat anxiety, but this will only make matters worse. Simple, everyday things like a good night’s sleep, a wholesome meal and a walk are often the best cures for anxiety.
10. Reward yourself
Finally, give yourself a treat. When you’ve made that call you’ve been dreading, for example, reinforce your success by treating yourself to a massage, a country walk, a meal out, a book, a DVD, or whatever little gift makes you happy.
Stress is a natural reaction to difficult situations in life, such as work, family, relationships and money problems.
We mentioned earlier that moderate stress could help us perform better in challenging situations, but too much or prolonged stress can lead to physical problems. This can include lower immunity levels, digestive and intestinal difficulties such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), or mental health problems such as depression. Therefore, we must manage our stress and keep it healthy to prevent long-term damage to our bodies and minds.
When you are feeling stressed, try to take these steps:
• Realise when it is causing you a problem. You need to make the connection between feeling tired or ill and the pressures you face. Do not ignore physical warnings such as tense muscles, over-tiredness, headaches or migraines.
• Identify the causes. Try to identify the underlying causes. Sort the possible reasons for your stress into those with a practical solution, those that will get better anyway given time, and those you can’t do anything about. Try to let go of those in the second and third groups – there is no point in worrying about things you can’t change or things that will sort themselves out.
• Review your lifestyle. Are you taking on too much? Are there things you are doing which could be handed over to someone else? Can you do things in a more leisurely way? You may need to prioritise things you are trying to achieve and reorganise your life so that you are not trying to do everything at once.
You can also help protect yourself from stress in several ways:
• Eat healthily. A healthy diet will reduce the risks of diet-related diseases. Also, there is growing evidence showing how food affects our mood. Feelings of wellbeing can be protected by ensuring that our diet provides adequate amounts of brain nutrients such as essential vitamins and minerals and water.
• Be aware of your smoking and drinking. Even though they may seem to reduce tension, this is misleading as they often make problems worse.
• Exercise. Physical exercise can be very effective in relieving stress. Even going out to get some fresh air and doing some light physical exercise, like walking to the shops, can help.
• Take time out. Take time to relax. Saying ‘I just can’t take the time off’ is no use if you are forced to take time off later through ill health. Striking a balance between responsibility to others and responsibility to yourself is vital in reducing stress levels.
• Be mindful. Mindfulness meditation can be practised anywhere at any time. Research has suggested that it can reduce the effects of stress, anxiety and other related problems such as insomnia, poor concentration and low moods in some people. Our ‘Be Mindful’ website features a specially-developed online course in mindfulness, as well as details of local courses in your area: bemindful.co.uk
• Get some restful sleep. Sleeping problems are common when you’re suffering from stress. Try to ensure you get enough rest. For more tips on getting a good night’s sleep, read our guide ‘How to…sleep better’ at: mentalhealth.org.uk/howto
• Don’t be too hard on yourself. Try to keep things in perspective. After all, we all have bad days
You know what it’s like to be afraid of something, whether it be thunderstorms, a trip to the dentist, a stranger at your door, or losing someone dear to you. Fear is a normal reaction that warns our bodies to be careful. Anxiety is a type of fear, dealing more with worry and the future, rather than fearing something that is present.
When fear and anxiety become a pattern in our lives, they become a problem. If your plugged drain in the kitchen sink is a problem, do you ignore it? Of course not. You call a plumber or try to fix it yourself. When fearfulness causes harm to your physical and mental stability, and you find yourself avoiding things that might create more fear, don’t ignore it. When anxiety becomes a debilitating thing that leaves you cowering and sick, don’t try to push it away.
Learn how to overcome fear and anxiety.
The following 6 steps may be your ticket to getting rid of fear and anxiety disorders in your life.
Step 1: Learn More About Your Fear
This first step can be the hardest one, but it’s also absolutely necessary. You can’t overcome a fear that remains hidden in the dusty regions of your subconscious. You must face it. When you turn your face toward a person, you see that person and learn what he looks like and how he is acting. When you turn toward your fear (rather than away from it), you notice things about your fear that you didn’t know before. This awareness helps you overcome it.
To help yourself face your fears and anxiety, try keeping a journal over a period of two or three weeks. Record any patterns you notice. Do your hands turn clammy and your stomach clenches when you hear the doorbell? Do you experience more symptoms of anxiety in the morning or the evening? What do you tend to do when your fears arise? Jot down anything that seems significant. Transferring your fear patterns and symptoms into writing can help demystify them. They are no longer so big and insurmountable.
Most importantly, learning all about your fear gives you an idea of how to counter it.
Step 2: Use your Imagination in Positive Ways
An imagination is a wonderful thing. It gives you power, creativity, and the ability to think outside the box. Unfortunately, an active imagination can be a harmful tool when it causes you to think about negative things. Your imagination can magnify your fears, making your situation seem much worse than it actually is.
Instead of letting your imagination lead you down the dark corridors of fear, purposely use it for overcoming fear.
How do you do that? Pick a calm moment when you are relaxed and not anxious. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a situation that normally causes fear. For instance, if you are afraid of being lost in a crowded building, picture yourself in a busy airport. Now, imagine yourself handling the situation peacefully. You don’t freeze and begin to cry. Instead, you search for an information desk or a sign that will help you regain your sense of direction. You imagine yourself reaching the correct parking lot, unlocking your car door, and driving safely home without any bad incidents.
The peace you experienced in your imagined scenario can actually help you get through the actual ordeal more peacefully.
Step 3: Use Your Brain in a Different Way than Usual
Your fear and anxiety arise out of a certain part of your brain, and they allow emotion to overcome rational thought. When you feel your fearful symptoms coming forth, try to use a different part of your brain. Think about numbers, for instance. A nurse in the clinic might ask a patient to rate his pain on a scale of 1-10. Use this scale for your anxiety. How anxious are you when 1 is perfectly calm and 10 is your very worst symptom? Stop and analyze. Do you rate your fear at 7? Very good. You can work on lowering that to a 4 or a 3. Try using the next step to lower your fear rating.
Step 4: Focus on Your Breathing
Breathing is more important than you think. Usually, anxiety begins with short breaths. The short breaths cause a number of negative reactions in your body which quickly become an anxiety attack. The key to overcoming those fast outbreaks of anxiety is to control your breathing.
Fortunately, deep breathing is not complicated. Once you have recognized that you are becoming fearful, stop and focus on your breathing. Take a breath in, and then slowly let it out. Make sure your exhale is longer than your inhale. This isn’t just some psychological trick; deep breathing forces your body to physically calm itself.
Step 5: Practice Mindfulness
You’ve heard about mindfulness, but what exactly is it? Mindfulness is a passive thinking activity that allows you to become more aware of your fear. As you learned in Step 1, awareness helps you overcome your fear and anxiety.
Practice these mindfulness tips during some of your less severe times of fear and anxiety. When you recognize your fear symptoms arising, sit down and think about what is happening to you. This is like making a mental journal entry. Observe the symptoms as they arise. Don’t do anything about it. Just sit and keep track of yourself as the moment continues. Being passive raises your self-awareness, and it prevents you from doing the typical things you do when you experience fear. It helps get you out of a rut.
Step 6: Use Nature as Your Therapist
Talking to a therapist is an excellent way to work through your fears and anxiety. However, you can’t always be at your therapist’s office. Try going for a walk outside instead! Natural beauty found in parks, backyards, or wherever something green is growing does help reduce symptoms of fear and anxiety. Nature calms people, reducing stress levels and changing moods from anxious to relaxed. Plus, the physical activity of walking or jogging outdoors requires us to use our brains differently, which can cause a switch from irrational fearful thoughts to clearer thinking that can help overcome the fear.
Would you like to know more? Our counselors at Real Life Counseling can provide real help for your fear and anxiety problems. Please contact us to learn more.
Sources:
- https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/overcome-fear-anxiety
- http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/overcome-fear-and-anxiety/
- https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/enhance-your-wellbeing/security/facing-fear/how-deal-chronic-fear-and-anxiety
- https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/fear
