There are many misconceptions about going to a therapist, and one of them is that therapy is only for people who are suffering from debilitating mental illness. This is far from the truth. To be human means that you will experience losses and disappointments at some points in your life, or you may be faced with a decision about a relationship or career that isn’t easy to make.
Life is full of many challenges. From time to time, you may wonder if it would be okay to make an appointment to see a therapist, not because you’re having a major crisis but just because you need someone to talk to. Psychotherapy can be very helpful even if you don’t have mental illness and aren’t dealing with major losses or problems.
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Reasons People Avoid Going to a Therapist
People avoid going to see a therapist for many reasons. Mental illness is often stigmatized, and you may fear the reactions of your family and friends. You may feel that going to a therapist would make you appear to be weak or unable to cope with the ups and downs of life.
Other reasons you might avoid going to see a therapist include:
- Believing the therapist will be judgmental or difficult to talk to
- A fear of facing painful emotions that you’ve managed to avoid feeling
- Believing that whatever is bothering you will go away if you ignore it long enough
- Feeling distrustful that a therapist may try to push you into doing things you don’t want to do
If you’ve had prior experiences with therapists that didn’t seem to help, this may make you reluctant to try again. You may also think your problems aren’t bad enough to require professional help. But the role of a therapist is to listen. Having major problems or mental illness isn’t a requirement for going to see a therapist.
Benefits of Therapy
Therapy offers an opportunity to sort through your problems with another person. Sometimes, just talking about the things that are bothering you can help you to feel less burdened or overwhelmed.
Talking to a therapist gives you an opportunity to open up to someone in a safe and confidential environment. Even though you may feel that you would get just as much out of talking to a trusted friend, there are times when your friends may be distracted or may be very opinionated about what your next move should be. When friends are critical and try to tell you what to do, you may end up feeling that it isn’t safe to talk to anyone about your feelings or experiences. This is when talking to a therapist can help.
Skills-Based Therapies
Going to a therapist can provide benefits that go beyond just having someone to talk to. Skills-based therapies provide strategies that can be used outside therapy in many aspects of your life. Examples of skills-based therapies include:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – This type of therapy teaches you how thoughts, behaviors and feelings are interrelated. It can help you to uncover unhealthy thought patterns so you can work toward healthier beliefs and behaviors.
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) – This is a form of CBT that emphasizes accepting uncomfortable thoughts and feelings rather than struggling with them. It teaches new skills such as mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness and emotional regulation.
Skills you learn through CBT and DBT are designed to help you cope with future stress. These skills can help you to feel better about yourself and improve your ability to make your own decisions.
Talking to a Therapist
A therapist isn’t personally invested in what’s going on in your life, so she can be objective and simply listen. He or she can give you her undivided attention during your appointment time and listen to your experiences without bias. This is different than talking to your friends, who may be frequently interrupted and are likely to want to do their share of talking about their own issues or problems.
Therapy isn’t just for people who are in the middle of a major life crisis. Talking to a psychotherapist can help you to sort out your feelings and release pent-up emotions or secrets that you haven’t felt free to share with anyone else. Therapy can help you uncover your dreams and goals, so you can work toward achieving your full potential. It’s something that’s worth giving a try, even when all you really need is someone to talk to.
If you or a loved one are struggling with mental health challenges, please call us at (310) 455-5258 or submit the form below to learn more about our treatment programs in Los Angeles.
Therapy can help you get through tough times in life.
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When you think of therapy, you may think of an intense and intimidating process strictly for people who struggle with mental illness. But there are countless styles and settings for therapy, which means there’s something out there for anyone.
In fact, there are more people who are benefiting from therapy than you might think. According to a survey from the American Psychology Association, 27 percent of Americans have received treatment or therapy from a mental health professional. Here are just a few reasons why you may want to look into joining them, even if you don’t believe you have a mental illness.
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I’ve gone to therapy at several points in my life. The first time was after a breakup. This is actually a pretty common time to seek help — lots of people go to therapy after a big life event.
But the second time I went, I didn’t have a “big” reason.
In fact, on paper, my life was going pretty well. I’d just moved to New York — a city I’d always dreamed of living in — and I had just started a master’s program in playwriting, a subject I loved. My classes were going well and I’d just started dating the man who’d later become my husband.
And yet, even with everything seemingly going “right,” I felt sad almost every day. Writing — and almost everything else — felt like a chore. It was hard just to get up in the morning.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I was dealing with depression, a mental health condition that affects roughly 8.1 percent of Americans.
Here’s the thing about depression: It’s a mood disorder that doesn’t necessarily need a big life event to take hold of you. I’m glad I got into therapy. I needed help, even if I wasn’t sure why. And it allowed me to develop the tools I needed to get through the day.
While I eventually stopped therapy for a while, I’ve gone back at several points in my life for help with anxiety, job loss, health diagnoses, and even grief over the loss of my dog.
There are lots of reasons to start therapy, and all of them are equally valid
Yes, people might be most inclined to reach out to a therapist when they’re in crisis or during stressful life events. But the definition of “stressful life event” is a little different for everyone. We all have unique triggers and life experiences.
For example, seeking therapy after the loss of my dog got me more than one raised eyebrow from people I told.
But, says Joyce Marter, a licensed psychotherapist and founder of Urban Balance, “It’s not at all weird. For many, pets are family members and the grief and loss experienced can be similar to the loss of any other loved one.”
It’s also OK to start therapy just because you think you need a little extra help, even if you’re not sure why.
“Seeking therapy is a routine and preventive form of healthcare, like going to the dentist or the doctor,” Marter says. “A therapist is like a personal trainer for your mind and your relationships.”
Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatry professor at NewYork Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine, agrees.
“Plenty of people do come to therapy to understand themselves better, to work through areas that are more difficult, and to improve their ability to thrive and cope with adversity,” she says.
Mental health is something you can manage — before you’re in crisis
“Therapy is exceedingly enhancing,” Saltz says. “I’d say that often it would be best for people to seek therapy long before the crisis occurs in their life so they would be better equipped to manage the inevitable crisis or difficulty in their lives.”
“Schedule an appointment,” Marter says. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
As of 2019, nearly 1 in 5 adult Americans lived with a mental health condition, according to the National Institute of Mental Health — yet about 55 percent of adults with a mental health condition didn’t receive mental health services in the previous year.
Lack of access to affordable mental health care This may be because some people are reluctant to reach out for help, either due to stigma surrounding therapy or because they don’t think their concern is “severe enough” to merit help.
“There is no ‘depressed enough’’ when it comes to seeking help, Saltz says. “If you feel depressed, chances are you can benefit from therapy.”
Therapy can be especially beneficial right now
We’ve been living through unprecedented times since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. And despite increased vaccination rates and hope for a return to “normalcy,” it’s OK to still feel uncertain, confused, scared, worried, numb, or anything in between.
As of writing this article, 312,771,733 million Americans have contracted COVID-19 and over half a million people have died from this novel virus, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Even if you didn’t lose anyone close to you, you might be grieving for other reasons — maybe a missed opportunity, a life that feels like it’s on pause, or a lost job. Grieving these losses is going to take time.
Companies all across the country have laid off or furloughed millions of employees. Many of those who have kept their job are still working from home. Travel is still inadvisable. Many of us haven’t seen close friends or family for over a year.
So, yes, things are slowly returning to some version of “normal” in some places — but it’s going to take a while to recover from everything that’s happened.
“Our world was experiencing a global mental health epidemic prior to the pandemic, which has poured gasoline on the fire and brought us to a full-on world mental health crisis,” Marter says.
“We were already experiencing the highest rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide, and now people are dealing with stressors on every level — financially, relationally, emotionally, physically, environmentally, and politically,” she adds.
Just remember: Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of
“Getting help is probably the more brave, smart thing to do,” Saltz says. This is just as true whether you’re experiencing a big life event or just feel like you need a little help or someone to talk with.
Marter agrees. “You will feel better after you connect with a therapist. It’s a wonderful, caring, and compassionate thing to do for yourself. Think of it as being a good parent to yourself and getting yourself the professional support you need and deserve,” she says.
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Simone M. Scully is a new mom and journalist who writes about health, science, and parenting. Find her on her website or on Facebook and Twitter.
